The End

Updated 7/30/11
Friends, work continues at a not-very-rapid pace.  Rest assured, the story is not yet through but shall proceed as always intended.

Updated 4/24/11
Wonderful readers!

I'm still here.  I apologize for the delayed continuation of the below-written chapters.  I have recently undergone a job relocation but do rest assured that I have every intention of continuing forthright the story we have begun.

Yours truly,

**Under construction**

Dear Reader,

The story is not yet through!

If you read this far and want me to hurry up with the writing, leave me a comment and let me know.



  1. Hi, I don't have time to read all of your story now, so let me just make some comments on your general style.
    First of all, I love you quirky, dry sense of humor. For example, I like this sentence: "She considered landing a vicious judo chop on Roger's left neck," from Chapter 06. I liked the way you begin the story on a completely pointless, subject (the red house). Somehow, it is so boring and pointless that it grabs my attention. However, you could improve the first sentence by making it more informal. Remember, this is a story, not an English-class essay. Use big sentences sometimes to keep things interesting, but stay as casual in your tone as possible- like if you were telling this story to a friend over lunch.
    Honestly, I think you could improve the story by replacing some of the nonsensical names (Bojargis Nickelstorp, Acraborn) with normal ones. Big words and nonsensical words can really add to that quirk, dry sense of humor if you use them sparingly and tastefully, but don't overdo it!
    I read through the first several chapters, and let me say, your style seemed to improve as you went. Maybe you were just getting warmed up, so go back and take a look at the earlier chapters now.
    Best of luck with your writing! I will comment some more if I have time to come back and finish reading later.

  2. Hey, I think this is pretty great. I am really interesting in your desultory style, with a great number of barely-described main characters. I think you do a great job making them complex and interesting, while keeping them human and faulted. I've been brain-storming possible endings, but nothing I can come up with satisfies me :^) Maybe that is why I am getting an MA and not an MFA. I can't wait to hear the end :^)

  3. FINISH IT! I'm sooooo curious...even if all of the characters simply fall asleep warm in their beds at night (as the ending)...still I would like it. <3

  4. its not good at all...i really expected it to be. but no it isn't. -___- very disappointing.

  5. Dear readers,
    Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them all (even the non-flattering ones). The story is still a work in-progress, so I hope you'll continue to tune in as it grows!

  6. This is a terrible book. I seriously hope you just wrote it for internet lols.

  7. I am so very amused...
    That said, I will probably never return to this page again...because I'm lazy, and I usually don't click on strange links Facebook shows me...

    So, maybe if you write another one, advertise after you finish.

  8. Interesting story, I love your turn of phrase. The humor in this kind of reminds me of The Hangover. I'll do my best to stay tuned.

  9. This sounds like a cross between Lois Sachar and Douglas Adams.

    After having read 33 chapters, I've had all I can take. Happy trails.