Chapter 32

Casual, beautiful reader, reflect now upon the passages we have shared together.

A short while back the life of dutiful Linda the librarian was discussed.  In what would be viewed by many as an excusable oversight, Linda's condition was not earlier mentioned.

Suffer is not the word she would use, but it was clear for most to see that Linda suffered from a severe addiction to crackers.  She felt passionately about Better Cheddars, Cheez Its, Chicken In A Biskits, Saltines, Ritzes, Wheat Thins and, of course, Triscuits.  Linda's office could be confused for a cracker dispensary or sampling station were it not for the many books and library signs adorning the adjacent rooms.  One of the previous assistant librarians had joked about crackers on one occasion -- her dismissal was swift and merciless.

On the weekends when she was not reading or preparing to read or contemplating something she had just read, Linda would come into her office and reorganize the cracker boxes and eat crackers.  She would try mixing crackers one with another.  She had on several occasions spent hours comparing the virtues and idiosyncrasies of Better Cheddars, Cheez Its, Cheese Nips, and various other cheese-flavored treats.

She didn't feel bad because crackers are mostly healthy, but it should be clear that no addiction so frenetic is healthy.

When she wasn't discussing which school employees should be relieved of their duties, she would often compare and contrast crackers with her coworkers.  They mostly were perplexed by her acute focus and did not really have the knack for such in-depth analysis.